losing weight for the big day

 

A few weeks ago, Chai asked me to post pics from Dan’s and my wedding.  Since I just got some pics from my stepmother’s camera, I thought I’d post them (and some of our professional shots) today!

0022

Dan and I really wanted a beach wedding and so we selected a place right on the Chesapeake Bay.  It was an absolutely gorgeous location.  This is a picture from one of the suites.  Isn’t it gorgeous?beth and dan's wedding 290

I don’t know about any of you, but planning our wedding was so stressful that no matter how hard I tried, I could not lose weight.  It did not help that my job was super stressful, Dan was out of state most of the year, and we moved halfway across the country about three months before the wedding.  beth and dan's wedding 006

On top of all of those stressors was the stress to ‘be perfect.’  I would see skinny brides and get jealous that they didn’t have to be all consumed with the quest to lose weight and look good for ‘the big day.’   I had more sleepless nights over my stupid wedding dress than I have had over any other event. 

beth and dan's wedding 030

Heck, the main reason I started my diet in 2005 was so that I’d be skinny in time for my wedding.  I couldn’t imagine anything worse than not being skinny on my wedding day. 

 0689

Magazines talk about bridal bootcamp, and friends and strangers asked me how I was going to trim down for the big day.  People told me that I would always regret not being skinny since ‘pictures will last forever.’  I’ve never had super high self esteem and so I was definitely susceptible to all of these internal and external pressures.

0693

I think it all came to a head when I realized that the wedding dress I had ordered in March would no longer fit.  I had gained about 40 pounds that year.  Thankfully, David’s Bridal guaranteed a return for size changes for my dress, so that was not a problem for me.  Thank goodness. 0853

In the end, after many sleepless nights, I was not the size I wanted to be.  However, I was the happiest I have ever been.  I was also extremely thankful for my photographer.  Rachel Naft and I hit it off right away.  I felt comfortable enough to ask her to make me look as skinny as possible in my pictures.   profile4

It was amazing to compare pictures that friends took and the ones taken by Rachel. She really has a way of making people look good!

beth and dan's wedding 050

One regret I have is that I wish I hadn’t selected a strapless dress.  They really aren’t all that flattering, and mine totally put me on the look out for chub all day. 

0835_edited-2

I have even tried to photoshop the chub out of pictures, but I am not that talented, so some of them may never see the light of day.

0340

Chub aside, all of those pressures are bull crap.  Dan loves me no matter my size.  I wish I had the strength to tell everyone who told me how important my weight was to suck it.  I wish I had loved myself enough to know that my size didn’t matter.  I wish I had realized that not once on my wedding day would I think “boy, I wish I was skinnier”.   And now I’m one of the few brides who can say that I can’t fit into my wedding dress anymore because it’s too big.  

 

(Rachel Naft is located in the Northern Virginia area if someone is looking for an amazing photographer).